Chuck+Norris

CHUCK NORRIS JOKES These jokes and many more are found on [|http://chucknorrisfacts.com] but some of them have explict words in them. These are some of the clean funny ones!
 * Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris
 * If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you
 * Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
 * Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise
 * When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris
 * Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through
 * Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter
 * Chuck Norris can divide by zero
 * Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
 * Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
 * Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint
 * It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
 * There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma
 * Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer(cant touch this)
 * Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
 * Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
 * Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
 * Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
 * Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror
 * There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up
 * Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.
 * Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in butt-kicking.
 * Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
 * 'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.
 * How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
 * Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
 * Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
 * Chuck Norris is currently suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
 * Chuck Norris refers to himself in 4th person